May 12th, 2004

busy caesar, busy

Freak Out. Not in a Pretty Way.

Quickly (as I'm in the midst of cleaning and doing my garbage and recycling and have my painters here)...

Last night we found out a dear friend and former neighbor died. He was only 47!

Victor was one of the sweetest and most friendly men you'd ever care to meet. A big, black man with a wonderful white wife (Brenda)--and beautiful kids. (I hate to sound typical when I say this, but often children of mixed races are so attractive, and they all are! In fact, their daughter Lanay used to model for local ads.)

Early yesterday I heard that another friend was entering the hospital--probably to die. (She's the mother of my neighbor and good friend June from next door...)

I went to the dentist with a tooth ache yesterday (I love my dentist Mary!) and found out there wasn't a cavity. I'm 'stressing' the tooth.

I'd suspected it on Monday when I realized the tooth above was also giving me fits.

Sister Sue and Nicole (grand-niece who lives with Sue) went with me. After I'd paid the bill and come out to the car, Sue looked at me like I was crazy! "Are you done already?"

Well, I informed her that I was grinding my teeth again. (I've done it in the past, too.) She asked me what was stressing me out.

It had hit me just as I walked to the car.

What's stressing me is Sue. The whole current situation with her increasingly bad health and her horrible financial situation.

I'm her main (only?) confidant. She tells me everything. Often we talk four and five times a day. Often it's very emotional.

I've developed a facial tic in the past several weeks. My right eye this time. (Yes, I've had them before years ago. It used to be my lip. LOL.)

I asked Marilyn mistressmarilyn if you can see it, but she's told me 'no' more than once. Said they're common around the Rose Fest. and that everybody is always sure other people can see them. LOL. You rarely ever can...

I stood in front of the mirror when it was going like crazy, but nothing! So I guess nobody can see it, thankfully!

Facial tic and teeth grinding. Dandy. $30 to find out nothing's wrong with my teeth. (Plus the hour and a half away from working on the script.)

Well, I admitted it to Sue, but I'm not blaming her. It's my own fault if I'm not dealing with the stress properly! I believe that all stress can be good stress. It's just a matter of how we cope!

So I need to go and post at good_stress one of these days, I guess! LOL. (Or rant at de_stress. Even better. ROFL.)

I blew up (well, a tiny bit) when Gabe (one of my painters) came over and wanted me to go 'half' on the cost of the paint!

Hell, we already gave them half down on the contract--one that I ended up writing out, by the way.

I got on the phone and called the house and told him and his dad Joe that perhaps we needed to sit down and talk about terminating our arrangement. Call it good with the house power-washed, roof power-washed and treated for moss and the deck power-washed to remove any flaking paint and dirt prior to painting. (We were ready to let whatever extra we'd paid at this point go in order to avoid further hassle.)

This was all going on while I was in the middle of vacuuming, cleaning my cat boxes and talking to Marilyn back and forth on the phone as she goes in to see the specialist (doctor) about potentially setting up her surgery for late June...

Well, no complaints, here, really. I'm just busy, is all!

The emotional side can be hard some days, but I wouldn't change it in favor of a life without friends and loved-ones, after all...

I'm smiling as I type this. Joe called back so fast! I was delighted, as I've broken one of my own life 'rules' by hiring a neighbor to do work for us. (Normally we never do that!)

It's so muggy today! I'm in a sweat. (No. I refuse to call this a hot flash. I'm taking my black cohost and that's that.)

Aging only sucks when you start to lose people older than you that you love and rely on, I guess.

As my neighbor June and I discussed, we're still young in our heads! It's hard to believe we're the 'older' ones, now. (I hate the term middle-aged, seeing as it's so negative to people. I mentioned it at the dentist and said something about the Kid Rock concert and they were all saying I'd never be old! LOL. Hope not.)

Of course, June spent the weekend with her mother Dorothy who is in her 80's. She said Dorothy looks in the mirror and wonders who that old woman can be! She, too, feels young in her head. It's so strange. Hard to explain to people who are under 30, especially...

Well, back to the cleaning and the rest. I need to have some of it done in case Marilyn does come home directly after her appointment! (She often is in terrible pain and bleeds after the exam...)

And I need to get back to work on the script! The deadline is kicking me big time!

(Yes, Nik nk_seashore, I have April april_diamond as an LJ friend. She's lovely and fun and very talented!)


Moderation? What's that? Sigh.


Anyway, the painters/handymen and I are all friends again. Freak out time is over! (For now.)

  • Current Mood
    busy busy
charlie 2012 beige

I'm Over-Reacting Again. Surely.

But I just came in from outside and saw Marilyn's mistressmarilyn cellphone number on the kitchen caller ID box. So I assumed she called while I was outside (and couldn't hear the phone).

I called her (back). She picked up, but before I could say much, told me she was in 'the middle of her appointment' and we hung up. (I wasn't really calling her back, seeing as she hadn't called! LOL.)

She sounded horrible. Like she was upset (and maybe even crying).

Oh God. Tell me she didn't get some really bad news, like cancer...

I'm sure I'm reading too much into it.

She could have sounded bad because that exam hurts like 'billy hell' (as Dad used to say). Maybe we had a bad connection, for that matter.

When she answered it, I assumed she was in the car and on her way home. It didn't even occur to me that she'd have her phone inside the building with her!

I'm not going to get upset without being sure I have a reason to be. I'm not going to over-react like I did earlier with Gabe...

Well, I wish I knew, though.

The hardest part always is waiting. Having a good imagination (I do) can be a curse when you're waiting. (And not the blessing I normally find it. LOL.)

I'd call Sue, but why upset her, too? I mean, I don't even know anything at this point...

I guess an hour was really too soon for Marilyn's appointment to be over. (Wishful thinking on my part.)

I guess I'll go back to the vacuuming...

  • Current Mood
    okay okay