CharlieMC (charliemc) wrote,

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Shingles Pain (yes, still) and Brain Power (I hope)

The pain from my shingles was (thankfully) fine today -- meaning I was in pain, but I could stand it. The day before last the pain was ridiculously BAD -- mayb the worst since I got the shingles back in April. Maybe I'm being silly, but I keep thinking things will get better. For example, I think these damn shingles will finally go away. Marilyn has to keep reminding me: No, I'm not in recovery. I'm still sick. I still have shingles. Ikm taking major pain medication daily. If I miss my meds even by a few minutes, I can end up in serious agony. How can that be true here at the end of July? Well, it is. The main person I need to remind is me.

I'm still spending a crazy amount of my time SLEEPING each day. Again, Marilyn reminds me that the only time (apparently) that my brain can heal from the effects of the encephalitis is during sleep. So I guess all the extra sleep is a good -- even wonderful -- thing. But we're sure talking a big chunk of my life...

Now I feel accomplished if I manage even one task. Here's a great example: I wanted to enter my Wikipedia account. Well, apparently there's no record I have one (even though I'm sure I created one years ago). I give up on that idea (must have used a different email) and try create a NEW one. Um, could it be any HARDER to do???

Making a USERNAME really shouldn't be that hard. I couldn't use any of my standard versions I've been using going back to 2000/2001 and 2002. (No, I am not exactly new to this online stuff.) Finally I make up a new one that I'm sure I'll never remember -- so now I'll be hunting for it constantly. Oh well...

This came from me mentioning that I'd been to the account of a little-known actor who has a rather unfinished page. They list his movies, but none of his television appearances, for example. And don't have the names of the characters he played. I found another website that lists all of them, so it's possible to locate these. But this other site is not user friendly. It's one gigantic scrolling-forever list of photos of actors in various roles. Hard to view and takes foever to see. But I could certainly slowly gack the info then put it at Wikipedia -- once I've got the account (DONE!) and I learn how the heck it's done...

I swear I've been here before, by the way. People are always adding info -- frequently it's wrong (we've all seen that). I know I've tried before to make corrections, but I don't comprehend their procedures.

Let's keep in mind that I've been working with websites since 2002. I also have been working with SBS (Small Business Servers) since 2007. I've been training people how to utilize computers and various systems for decades. I don't claim to be a genius -- far from it. I'm just saying I do have some reasonable amount of background. I would think at least as much as the average user at Wikipedia.

So why precisely is this so hard?

I had to enter and re-enter and re-enter (and on and on) the info for setting up the freaking account so many times I thought I'd turn blue. Yeah, I get that I have brain damage and some current issues, but I've still been pretty functional. I've had to get on the Server at work numerous times and do rather complicated things. I've been on the phone Server, too. I've been Remoting in to begin with, which isn't simple. I still train people all the time.

I think most people don't even notice my incapacities -- or am I deluding myself? After all, that's part of the point: when you have brain issues, you won't necessarily recognize them!!!

Marilyn actually told me she thought I'd been more back to myself recently. There have been some real struggles at various points. Mood swings and confusion. I've been having headaches, which isn't at all normal for me.

And some days I really can't face all the computer things I used to relish -- or at least take for granted. I just find myself thinking 'oh hell no' and avoiding it. Hahaha.

I want to believe I'm still mentally strong, with some relatively small fluctuations. But as I've noted, this could be me avoiding the obvious.

I'm inordinately proud when I finish a task like setting up my medications, for example. I recently even cleaned out my medicine cabinet -- and totally organized my myriad of pills. Maybe a small activity, but it seems delightful to me at this moment. Actually, I'm thinking I have the best grasp on doing this that I may have had for years. I really don't like this task, as I have SO DAMN MANY pills to do. There have been tmes when I couldn't get myself to do more than a couple days at a time...

I am hyper right now, clearly -- and rambling! So sorry. That is one of my clear mood swings. But at least it's a positive one, so I won't complain.

I was asleep at midnight when my alarm went off to wake me to go and take my meds. It took six minutes before I finally got up. Haha. The hard one today was actually my 6:00 a.m. meds. Again, it's important to get my butt up and take these as close to the time as I can -- otherwise I'll be sorry!

Candy went out and bought an in-window air-conditioner unit for around $400. She has it in the kitchen to try and cool down air for their entire house. Sue says it's helping. I hope so. We're in the middle of a heat wave here -- as is much of the country and most of the world, I guess. (Friends in England are shocked by the temperatures, for example...)

I made spaghetti for dinner with veggie pasta. We both enjoyed it.

Struggling with my weight currently. Up and down, no matter how little I eat. Today was thankfully lower. The edema from the Gabapentin is a bear. I'm swollen constantly around my tummy (certainly near the shingles band in front). Patience. Patience. Patience. I keep reminding myself... (And Marilyn keeps reminding me!)

Sorry this is so long!
Tags: 2018, air-conditioning, brain-power, candy, computers, edema, encephalitis, gabapentin, heat-wave, july-2018, marilyn, medications, medicine-cabinet, memory, memory-loss, mood-swings, pain, patience, setting-up-account, shingles, shingles-pain, sister-sue, spaghetti, swollen-stomach, veggie-pasta, weight-gain, weight-loss, wikipedia, wikipedia-account

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