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Charlie's Strange and Happy World
...one page at a time
Our Mother, Gloria -- and Grandma Elsie 
mom young

Mom got some important mail recently. at least, it was marked WARNING URGENT NOTICE. The thing is, Mom died on January 6, 2000, so she's been gone for 15 years. Somehow I don't think she's going to be rushing to reply to that mail... (smile)

All joking aside, it's still a shock to get mail addressed to Mom. She never lived here at this address. But after her death we sold the house, and put a forwarding order in case of any unpaid bills. So now and then something shows up. (Dad was long dead by then -- he passed in 1998 -- so we don't receive surprise mail for him.) When she was first gone, I found it upsetting enough that I'd follow it up with phone calls and letters. But now it sort of makes me smile...

For those of you who have lost a parent, or both, I don't need to explain how strange it feels. No matter how old we are, it's odd when we become orphans. Maybe it's different if you had a seriously difficult relationship with your parents. Or if it happened when you were very young. I don't know. But I do know it's a very strange thing for the rest of us...

I didn't spent much time on Mom on January 6 (Little Christmas), which was the day she died. Usually every year that gives me an excuse to talk about her -- as if I need one!

Our mother died on her own mother's birthday! Considering the issues Mom had with Grandma Elsie her entire life, there's some poetic justice going on there. Our grandmother wasn't the easiest person in the world, that's for sure. In spite of that, Mom took her mother's death very hard...

In the book I'm reading, I just read about the day when Cheryl's mother would have turned 50, had she not died at 45. I won't go into this in detail, but she spends much of the day expressing anger at her mother. For dying so young and for the things she did and didn't do as a parent.

Marilyn and I have felt strongly for most our lives that by the time you hit 30, it's time to let go of all your issues with your parents (unless the actually abused you in some way, of course). By 30, you should be mature enough to start dealing with your life issues without blaming your parents for everything. But of course, Cheryl was 22 when her mother died -- and only 27 at this point in the book. So she hasn't reached 30, yet...

And by the end of that day, she manages to express positive things about her mother, anyway. Her experience hiking the PCT clearly puts her years ahead of the average person. (smile)

In other news...

The training I was going to set up for tomorrow, is now happening on Friday. John and David will be coming out at 10:00 and working with Christine and me. Christine is going to be my backup at the website.

Donn has ordered a new external hard drive to replace my old red external. He's coming by tomorrow to pick up the old one and prepare it for moving the data when the new device arrives on Wednesday. I'm looking forward to getting my new external, so I can move on. I totally rely on this device in my work. The new one can 'talk' to my iPads, which is pretty exciting.

Marilyn went with Sue to her doctor appointment this afternoon. And she went to the urologist this morning. Pretty damn impressive, Marilyn! A new week, and another medical appointment!

And that's Monday (pretty much).

Comments 
January 13, 2015 (Tuesday) 02:56 pm (UTC)
Yes, it is very strange to think I don't have living parents any longer and mine both died a long time ago. (1993 AND 1997)

My younger daughter has hit 30 (will be 32 this year) and she still thinks mom is a fine scapegoat to blame for everything wrong in her life. Sigh.
January 13, 2015 (Tuesday) 07:12 pm (UTC)
I know exactly what you mean. When I got my new phone a few weeks ago the salesperson uploaded my contacts, but she got them from an old backup so my Dad's name came up on the list when I was looking through them, and it caught me off guard.

Cheryl's book was hard for me to read in places, her mother died of the same thing my Mom did, but I really liked it.
January 14, 2015 (Wednesday) 12:34 am (UTC)
Even though I didn't get along with my dad, and it is even worse with my mom, it was still strange when my dad died.
I think it is strange no matter what.
January 14, 2015 (Wednesday) 02:02 am (UTC)
laughs was the URGENT mail for life insurance? hahaha

The odd thing for me with my dad, was realizing I was older than he was ... funny cause you always think of your parent as so much older than you.


love
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Edited at 2015-01-14 02:04 am (UTC)